We all know the overt and obvious ways that fear operates, such as phobias, panic attacks, and the like. But in this blog we are going to examine the covert language of fear. I want you to start to observe how fear is also a master of disguise. It cloaks itself in other more seductive costumes, like bravery, perfectionism, anger, arrogance, people pleasing, FOMO, and adrenaline junkies (to name only a few). Often the very parts of our personality we are most wedded to are simply efforts to compensate for, keep ourselves distant from, or otherwise control fear. And most of the time, because of the power of the unconscious, people are completely unaware of how these dynamics operate in their life.Read More
It was one of those dreams that felt so real that even while I was dreaming I was trying to figure out the blurry and disorienting line between waking and sleeping. Within the dream I remember telling my dreaming self “this is just a dream.” But I was also in that partial state of wakefulness, where your body is heavy and your mind is foggy.Read More
What's in there?
Only what you take with you.
I love this scene in Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back because I believe it perfectly illustrates the role of the unconscious in our lives. In this scene, Luke turns to enter a spooky and dark cave and what he comes face to face with is the feared (and unconscious) forces of darkness and anger personified by the presence of Darth Vader. In his vision, he enters in to battle with Vader and eventually decapitates him. The cinematic insinuation is that Luke has deeply unresolved issues related to his own core identity as a man and a Jedi.
By all accounts, Howard Stern is pretty damn squeaky clean compared to his peers in the entertainment industry. As a feminist, I revel in that irony. I really gloat in the hypocrisy that Howard Stern is the alleged face of social perversion, meanwhile the list of politicians, business execs, and supposed rainmakers being taken down, one by one, by the #MeToo movement is cataclysmic. If this isn’t a case of the emperor having no clothes, I don’t know what is.Read More
This months installment comes in the form of a podcast I did with Kelli Walker for her series, Not Another Anxiety Show. On this episode we "got deep under the hood" of my previous post about Deconstructing Anxiety. Please have a listen (click episode #102) and see what you think and feel about our discussion. There's a lot of content to get your head around and start to better understand your own anxious process. And, as always, please pass it on if the spirit moves you. I rely on word of mouth and social media to grow my audience, so your gesture of support is much appreciated.Read More
What do I mean by the Myth of Specialness? Isn’t everyone special in his or her own right? It’s true. We are all special on a certain level. Everyone has a unique temperament and personality they bring to the world. This is what and how you impart your own unique set of influences and dynamics on the world around you.Read More
I’ll point out the obvious right off the top: Perfectionism is often applauded in our society and I get it. I am someone who is steeped in the art of achievement and accomplishment. I speak that language, intimately, and I have been in the vice grip that is the pursuit of perfection at various times throughout my journey and in various domains of my being.Read More
Anxiety moves in circular motion. Although you are constantly spinning you are never truly gaining traction and moving forward. Perpetual loops of speculation, avoidance, rumination, and worry will hold you hostage to growth and internal contentment.Read More
I knew it was coming. I’d felt a change in his relationship to magical thinking – sensed that he was starting to put the puzzle pieces together in a way in which reason and logic were starting to conquer fantasy.Read More
We call it wisdom, I suppose. Wisdom doesn’t just come with the passage of time though. You don’t “age in” to being wise. It takes decades to achieve that type of interior transformative perspective on life.Read More
As I am busy learning the craft of podcasting as the intervieweer (a craft that is way more difficult than it may seem:-) I hope you will enjoy this podcast where I was the interviewee.Read More
I was born into a long lineage of gladiators. My father, his father, and the generations that came before them were all gladiators, steeped in the art of brawn, force, and mental toughness.Read More
I am constantly asked by patients, and now by readers, “Ok. But now what?” The insinuation being, “yes I’ve enjoyed the insight, but what can I do?”Read More
What's in there?
Only what you take with you.
As a Clinical Psychologist who values an emphasis on insight oriented, mindfulness based psychotherapy I am struck by this type of social media passive aggressive syndrome that has developed over the last 5-10 years and is now reaching epic proportions.Read More
Maybe it’s the current political season, maybe it’s our obsession with the #selfie generation, but as a psychologist I am aware of how much narcissism and self-involvement is on display these days.Read More
It was one of those dreams that felt so real that even while I was dreaming I was trying to figure out the blurry and disoriented line between waking and sleeping.Read More
We all know the expression “butterflies in my stomach” and we all tend to agree on what that feeling signifies for us at a psychological level.Read More
I had been “seeing” Abby for about 7 months. We were getting to know each other as people often do in those early weeks and months of any relationship.Read More
Have you ever wondered how stress, anxiety and other emotional states of distress contribute to how our bodies feel physically?Read More